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British Exit Opens Door for Slovenia's Four Troops to Come Home

Slovenske vojske, Slovenian military on duty in IraqLeft: Slovenia's four-man Iraq contingent may depart

(Ljubljana, Slovenia) Slovenian defense minister Karl Erjavec told National Nitwit reporters that his country is "seriously considering" a pullout of its four military personnel currently stationed in Iraq after an announcement that Britain will soon remove troops from Basra.

"We have looked forward for this glorious day when our Slovenian heroes could finally come home," Erjavec said. "Our brave men have shown the world just what a former Yugoslav republic can do, if given chance and fat US military base contract for joining Coalition of Willingly."

Erjavec said that the mission in Iraq has placed "quite a strain" on state finances since its deployment in 2003.

"At one point we had as many as nine military personnel over there," he said, displaying a spreadsheet. "This represented 38.4% of annual Slovenian defense budget. Yes, we Slovenians have done more than our share for almost four years in this struggle for freedom. That, plus Miha Ivanek knocked up this Iraqi girl, and we not only had to pay for baby costs, but we had to buy three goats and a dozen chickens for her family. This is more than average Slovenian farmer has, so we feel it is time for change."

Slovenian defense minister Karl ErjavecSlovenian defense minister Karl Erjavec addressing reporters

Erjavec added that Slovenian citizens in the capital city of Ljubljana are already planning a welcome home party for the returning members of "Operation Slovenia Send Many Troops Iraq for Bush."

"We have booked famous Slovenian singer Robert Pešut Magnifico, who will perform big hits 'Kdo je čefur', '24.000 poljubov' and 'Hir aj kam hir aj go'," he said, playing a snippet of the pop star's music for reporters. "And women are cooking up the žganci, kranjske klobase, krvavice, and potica. Plenty to go round, no? Stay, stay, and spend some money and party with Erjavec!"

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And when Slovenia pulls out the Taliban will be dancing in the streets shouting, "Death to the Slovenian infidels..." when they're too far away to respond appropriately.
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