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2/18/2007

Crackheads Rate Check-N-Go Top Fast Cash Outlet

Bunch of crackheads Left: Conventioneers scoring during lunch break

(Washington, DC) Members of the National Association for Recidivist Crackheads (NARC) awarded the check-cashing/cash advance firm Check-N-Go its "Golden Pipe" for superior service to the nation's crack cocaine users.

NARC president "Tweaky" Williams lauded the company's efforts to provide quick cash to addicts.

"Check-N-Go offers instant access to check cashing, even without ID," said Tweaky, looking over his shoulder for cops. "I lifted this tax refund outta some guy's mailbox last week, and had $300 in my hand in ten minutes. THAT is service, friend."

Another benefit to using Check-N-Go, said the longtime crackhead, are the firm's employees.

"Loretta over at my local Check-N-Go knows me real well, yet she never gives me any shit when I come in with a check that says 'Verna J. Armstrong' or some other impossible name," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Sure, they take 25% off the top, but when a guy needs fast money there's no better place to go."

CrackheadWilliams: Check-N-Go is "tweakalicious"

Tweaky added that the company's employees are usually pretty sympathetic to the plight of drug users.

"Most places throw me out when I start imagining cops in the back room or crazy stuff like that," he said, scratching at bugs under his skin. "But Check-N-Go's not like that; they even pointed a camera away from me once when I started freaking. You don't get that kind of service at Cash-To-You or Check Jones, no sir."

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