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Man Installs Lead Sheets to Fight Wireless Piggybacking

Man cutting lead sheets to put up as a barrier against Internet piggybackers(Atlanta, GA) Harold Merriworth said that he is a "reasonable guy," but that he has reached a point where he needs to take drastic action against some neighbors who piggyback his 200mw A/P wireless signal.

"I think there are at least three blatant SOBs sucking up my bandwidth, and this is really getting old," he told National Nitwit reporters. "It's getting so bad that it takes, like, 30 seconds just to upload the Google homepage."

Merriworth's innovative solution is to install lead sheeting on the exterior walls of his house to combat the "signal leeches," or people who tap into someone else's wireless Internet connection without permission.

"I was getting ready to remodel the house anyways, so it's not that much more work to cut and hand sections of lead," he said, adding that he is using zinc-coated sheeting for improved safety. "It's either that, or I go back to dial-up."

Merriworth's router in its new leaded location

Merriworth admits that he is not sure if his plan will ultimately succeed in disrupting the actions of his "persistent" piggybacking neighbors.

"I tried passwords and encryption, but these pricks are pretty decent hackers," he acknowledged. "But at the very least I'll be in better shape if someone drops a dirty bomb in the neighborhood."

What a dork. What the hell does he need a fucking 200mw beast for?

Just get a low-power wireless!
He's going to get his family sick with all that lead, even if it really is zinc-coated. Somebody should call the city zoning, he's a health hazard to his neighbors too!
Tool. Next time read the fucking manual and set up proper internet security. Ever heard about filtering access douchebad?
If he's remodeling his home anyway, it would've been a lot easier to just install some Cat-5 cable and be done with it.
Well... its atlanta georgia.... what do you expect?


listing of strange things in atlanta georgia

the guy clearly needs to learn to configure his network.
It seems like all the responses so far are in favor of the thieves! The "dork" shouldn't have to resort to such lengths to keep people from stealing his bandwidth. They should pay for service of their own.
wow, if i he's that worried about it, why doesn't he just get a wired router?

filtering is old school.

he should be build a bomb shelter underneath 30 feet of concrete in his backyard for the router.

or use aol.
I don't tolerate anyone outside my house using my bandwidth either. Any tech can figure that out.
For shits sake you have the same router as me. YOU CAN FILTER BY MAC ADDRESS!
google: Corinex WME .

If they can breach that, and I mean really, then they're either really really crafty or they're in jail for trespass.
200 mw? Cry me a fucking river. FRS puts out 500 mw...my ham radio repeater puts out 35 WATTS.

200 MILLIWATTS? I can fart with more power than that.
If you really wanna keep the piggybackers out, why not make a Faraday Cage, instead of using lead and zinc?

Can't filter by MAC, Trev; many units allow MAC spoofing. It's about the next thing that the kids do after they sniff a few packets and de-WEP them.

'For Shitz sake,' you may wanna read some more! ;-)
If this guy has kids they'll grow up to be bigger retards than him. There's got to be some law against using lead in your goddamn house, even if it is Atlanta.
Dear Harold Merriworth:

In all seriousness, you are a paranoid schizophrenic. Please seek professional assistance before you harm someone.

(not that he will read this, cause the pipes in the internets are out to get him too)
poor tool, its going to take him half an hour to read this article... lol
sigh.. its not a real story. YOU people are the real morons.
MAC addies can be faked, and if he's using anything but WPA or WPA 2 it's easily hacked. Let the guy have his bandwidth. It's his, not some lonely guy's from down the street living in his parents' basement.
Configure WPA-PSK with AES encryptions and use a PSK bigger than 15 characters. Problem solved.
What Speedee said. MAC filtering is one of the easiest tricks to do. If SOMEHOW they're getting past the WPA/WPA2 (which seems really unlikely) then MAC spoofing is child's play for these guys. He should just turn down the signal or use that special paint they make for this type of situation
WPA-PSK / WPA2, MAC filtering, ESSID disabled. Set the passphrase to something nice and long.

Job jobbed.
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>He's going to get his family sick with all that lead, even if it really is zinc-coated. Somebody should call the city zoning, he's a health hazard to his neighbors too!< Oh get a life you tree hugging whiner. You have to ingest the lead first-- which isn't a bad idea for YOU to try. There is a thing called personal responsibility- go look it up and exercise it!
I am STUNNED to learn that people are so stupid that they can't tell the difference between parody and reality.
But if it takes so long for him to upload the Google home page, then we all suffer. It will take us twice as long to visit google if the home page is still being uploaded! We must help him!
Can't you restrict the IP addresses? I have that option on my router.

Even if you were going to coat your house in something, wouldn't brass screen work better?

I guess his cell phone doesn't work in the house?
" Anonymous said...
There is a thing called personal responsibility- go look it up and exercise it! "

Hi ANONYMOUS! I guess taking responsibility for your words doesn't count as "personal responsibility."

And the "tree hugging whiner" bit is just stupid. You can get lead via transdermal exposure. That seems unlikely since the lead in this example is zinc-coated, but still, there might be some zoning laws. It also seems unlikely because this is a parody.
Really, I can't believe that with the name of this site and the obvious satirical tone of the story you're taking this seriously. Look at the bottom of the page... that's right, all the way down there... the small print... see where it clearly states, and I quote, "This is a satirical newspaper, and these stories are fictional."?

You were all just pwned worse than Boston.
Ok, and now it looks like the small print changes or was just revised.... but it still states that stories are fake. And if you take a look at the picture you can tell that it isn't in some guys garage or something, but more likely an industrial shop of some sort.
I use a tin foil hat to keep people from stealing my wireless
Jesus Christ - a guy goes off to drink some cheap vodka, and all hell breaks loose.

We never disclose our sources, but Bob can assure you that National Nitwit only carries the finest, most prevaricative, and definitively implausible news we can unearth.
Nope, Bob is 100% real, and he has the pedigree papers and rabies shots to prove it, you reptilian smegma-eater.
Actually, the thing says this

"This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked."

It doesn't say for certain it's a fake, though it most likely is.
This story is real. Not all stories are fake you know. I'm a jackass!
I just connect my little antenna wire to the lead sheet, run it under tha sod on the lawn, and PRESTO! the best wireless access on the block. Thanks for not grounding it!! Next I'm going to the router setup page and changing the encryption key and sign in so he can't access his own network. That will teach the idiot to use the factory defaults. Redneck cretin! I'd almost bet it is too much exposure to lead, huh?
Drew Curtis and his queer followers on Fark.com suck.
And now, if any of you had such an extensive vocabulary, or even took the time to look up words you don't know, you would see that when subcomandante bob used that big word - prevaricative - ou'd see it means to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.
This coupled with the fact that he says it is "definitively implausible" leaves no doubt in my mind the story is fake.

And also, why on earth would he be cutting such a thin strip off of a sheet of metal if he was putting panels in the walls? some crazy 4" long wall?
Don't mobile homes usually come with lead walls anyway???
1. Drew rocks, and so do most of the FARKers, except the weenies who whine on the rare occasion a National Nitwit, Toledo Tales, or Codependent Collegian article gets greenlighted. They act like it's such an insult to their delicate sensibilities. Christ, we haven't even been greenlighted since about December 10 2006 or something.

2. The story is very real. You can touch it and poke it, and it squeals if you stick it with a sharp object, just like Bob's cat, Bootsie. Some facts might be somewhat inaccurate, like names, places, and dates. Things like that. But this is a REAL STORY, created by REAL PEOPLE, who drive REAL CARS, and have sexual relations with REAL WOMEN, REAL MEN, or whatever REAL SEXUAL BEINGS they can muster up.

3. Bob likes Stolichnaya the best, and he's always up for a free drink.

4. Your mom.
it is a fake news site . . . it is funny, sort of, but
F A K E as in redoubtable. . . it's for
giggles and such, but all the folks taking the
stories serious, that is the funniest part of

damnit farkers, why can't we learn a bit of decency, and use our own comments system rather than bashing on this guy through his blog?

Seriously though, if this is real, the author really should just switch to wired.
Well, I'm glad that that all got cleared up.

Just for the record though, in case subcomandante bob thought that I was INFURIATED the story was greenlighted, I personally loved it. I just hated to see gullible people arguing back and forth over fabricated aspects of a real story. (Real as in it does exist. I still maintain that the contents are fictional.)
It was very well-written though. Kudos.
Idiot. Use WPA and Access control lists and nobody's getting in. -And you don't upload the google homepage.
sucker.. did someone ever told him that 200mW is illegal?? half that is the maximum FCC will let you use.. i don't even know of an AP which will give that much when stock.. and if he messed wit it already, he could've just turned down the power..
Nah, Robotkin, the "whiny" comments were directed toward those 2 or 3 people on FARK who bitch every time Bob and his band of fellow imbeciles get something greenlighted.


Ad nauseum.

And, as far as the blog goes, people can write whatever they want. Bob has a thick skin, and is usually so bombed that he forgets to read the comments anyhow.

The beauty of a story like this - is to see how many "legitimate" news sites pick it up. One of the best was when Mike and Mike on ESPN 2 read this wombat fighting ring story on the air.

THAT was a moment to savor, not when Bob manages to trick a couple of regular joes.
He probably doesn't even have a problem with people piggybacking. He said he tried security... most people won't bother to WEP crack or MAC spoof. It takes a bit of work and knowledge. They'll just jump on someone else's action.

He probably just has crappy connectivity to his ISP.
I sure hope this story is a load of crap...

What are the odds that a dopey redneck in Georgia would have neighbors that are slick enough to quickly break 3DES or AES encryption on a wireless access point? I'll tell you what, those algorithm cracking hillbillies should call up the NSA, because they could get 100k-a-year jobs with that trick!

I would think that:

-Using AES-256 encryption
-Limiting wireless access by each device's MAC address and hostname.
-not broadcasting the wireless router's SSID signal.
-Using a damn simple-ass password for wireless access for christs sake.

Would be pretty much impenetrable by the CIA, let alone a pimple-faced redneck in a double-wide. And a whole lot cheaper than a truckload of lead and zinc.

(In other words, do all of the things that his piece of shit D-Link wireless router CAN ALREADY DO!!!)

The only reason his browser takes so long to load pages is because his machine is prolly infected with every piece of spyware in the known universe.

He wouldn't have this problem if he jerked-off to a better class of porn-sites...
Copper coated window screen should do the same trick shouldn't it?
A multitude of security without coating everything in lead. Sure MACs can be spoofed, and by using the right OS/software WEP can be cracked in most cases. But who _REALLY_ wants to spend that much time to get on the damned Internet. Look at the threats, deal with the threats in the easiest, yet, most applicable way. I doubt the guy has govenment weapons screts on his computer, thus worth the 100 hours of work, I think not.
Regardless of local building code...the guy pictured here is retarded if he is cutting lead sheet with no respirator on. I'd say he is definately sucking dust on that one. Looks like this website sucks too. All you guys should really get a hobby! And FARK Rules since you can actually get some real news there. Step up your game bitches! lol
Hell, even if you use all the mac-access lists and encryption in the world, you can still break into the box. I'm thinking a simple-assed man-in-the-middle attack against the router itself will be enough to hack the passwords. Using Snort to review all of the packets and look for unencrypted passwords will work too. and, if that all fails, break into his house and replace his router with one you've "improved". But really, I'm thinking this guys neighbors aren't all that technologically savvy. They're probably simply trying to get Tera Patrick creampie shots.

Drew is a homo.
this guy has his piece of crap unit loaded with spyware from all the pecker smacking sites he hits every night.he should resort to going back to the gay bars for live action.
oh yea and DREW CURTIS sucks dog assends! DRUNK LOSER
i am not. not that there's anything wrong with that
You know, my neighbors upcountry never steal my wireless. It's easy to accomplish: don't be hostile with your neighbors.

Or go the other route: get some of them arrested, and their houses repossessed (you can be sure they're doing something illegal, nobody is innocent), then see if the new neighbors have the cajones to mess with you. It's all just a game anyway.
I'm in ur yard, stealing ur intarweb pipes!!!11!
Drew, just kidding, you're not a homo, and your ol' lady is hot Fark.TV roxors. Oh, and I amposting this message using my dork-neighbor's ISP. Funny story, I set up my original wireless 2 years ago, and didn't do it correctly. I signed into the internet through, what I thought was my own wireless connection, only to find it was my neighbor's. Then, to add insult to injury, I accidentally tapped into his phone through his bluetooth connection when attempting to hook-up a bluetooth-enabled mic/head-phone setup. Then, I accidentally called mainland China with his phone, boy was he pissed. I told him to wear a tinfoil-hat whenever he used his phone to keep those calls from happening. Saw him at a BBQ last summer, he was using a tinfoil "holster" for his phone to keep people from stealing his minutes. I'm going to send him this article, see if he decides to line his house with lead.. He's an idiot too...
Even if this story is fiction, others have the same problem.
Am I the only nitwit here smart enough to recommend using a NON-WIRELESS router? Remember in the good old days, there were things with actual wires coming out of them? They still exist, you know, like record players and man-boobs.
Mmm....Tera Patrick creampie!
Here some ideas other then lead:

Copper coated window screen (said earlier)
Aluminum sheeting
Steal screening
Signal damping paint - See theaters that are trying to stop cell phones
Aluminum foil - Its cheap and easy to get
Metal cabling - Get a bunch of cheap cloths line cable and make a nifty cage in your walls.

Just make sure they all have a good ground and you're set.

BTW: I'm going to beat a dead horse here but here goes: GET SOME ANTI SPYWARE TOOLS. USE WEP OR SOME OTHER ENCRYPTION On YOUR NETWORK OR SWITCH TO COPPER. You get faster speeds and more reliability with copper cables.
Copper flashing (or heck, even aluminum, or in a pinch steel) wrapped around the house would probably be safer. Once it's properly bonded and grounded *poof* you've got a screen room.

Lead might be cheaper, until the place turns into a Superfund site.

Back in the day, people wrapping their houses in aluminum was pretty normal...

... and stick the access point in the middle of the basement, below ground level, so that the signal is only available in your house.
Okay well, the Pb will *not* hurt his family, unless they directly ingest it or handle it without washing their hands. It's in the walls of the house, not the dining room! There is Pb in lots of household items, as well as inside lots of industrial products. The chances of you having no lead in your home (and in the *interior* rather than near the insulation) is almost zero.

Now, it is unlikely that the Pb will work as an RF/wireless shield. You would have to cover the entire house with not even a small hole to filter out all the wireless signal. (Wireless wavelengths are small.) Further, since most wireless signals are electrically linearly polarized, a different, cheaper metal would probably work, too. Pb is a good shield for magnetic fields, but there are better ones for electric fields. So his plan will probably not work, but it could attenuate the signals just enough to make a difference. I don't know -- let the man try for crying out loud!

The guy who made the comment about the zoning board should be SHOT -- this is the man's own house! Even if he were being dumb, leave him alone! It is unverified rumors like yours which leads to intrusions of liberty.
Ok, so the guy has a cheap ass DLINK wireless router. It cranks out 200mW? Hard to believe.
Upgrade to WPA or disable the wireless and connect via cables for a while. The hackers will move on...Getting past MAC filtering is Hacking 101.
But a lead lined house is good - it will shield the family from daily brainwashing transmitted by gov't satellites!
Asbestos should work better than lead! Also he should spray his roof with creosote.
External bug zappers placed outside on the four corners of his house will encrypt the signals preventing broadband theft. It will also make his stealing neighbors very angry as bugs get fried and zapped all night long.
If he grounds it, he will have a Faraday cage that will indeed shield the outside from signals in his home, and vice versa. However... the idiot could have achieved exactly the same effect with aluminum foil, and it would have been a lot cheaper.
As for the person who suggested the faraday cage, I agree. That woud be alot simpler and safer than lead sheeting.

Or he could learn how to farking defend his pipe.
What a moron! First of all, use WEP. even with packet sniffing programs and WEP key encryption breaking programs, it would take a hacker three days minimum to hack his wireless. Thats if he was transmitting HIGH amounts of packets over his wireless. When trying to break Large companies WEP encryption it takes usually a week of packet sniffing and cracking. Thats 24 hours a day for 7 days, and they're transmitting very very high. His story is a bunch of bull. If nothing else, it takes so long because he has virus', rootkits and spyware on his computer. LEARN TO OPERATE THE MACHINE BEFORE TAKING DRASTIC MEASURES... idiot.
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