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3/04/2007

"4-H Girls Gone Wild" Calendar Not Selling Well for Iowan

(Eldora, IA) Entrepreneur Carl Jacoby thought his "4-H Girls Gone Wild" calendar idea was a "sure-fire winner," but the Iowa businessman has been disappointed with the early returns on his investment.

"Quite frankly, sales are in the toilet," he said, looking across the cornfield behind his central Iowa home. "Besides a few dozen sold to family members of the models, this calendar is selling worse than a full bowl of Hamas in Tel Aviv."

The calendar, carried by retail outlets and 4-H extension offices, has a suggested price of $9.95. Jacoby, however, believes that he made some "structural mistakes" in his design.

"While some of these girls are fantastic at hoisting a bale of hay, I think many people were expecting a different sort of model on the calendar," he admitted. "I guess if you don't live in the heartland, you have a different set of aesthetic values. But you can't tell me this picture of the topless cow-milking girl isn't hot - you've got six teats in one image."

Beauty, alas, is still in the eye of the calendar holder

Jacoby is not without hope for the 10,000 remaining copies of the 2007 calendar.

"The animal sex market is pretty strong on the Internet," he acknowledged. "Maybe if I market these things as bestiality pics I can at least make my money back."

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Comments:
(vomits in toilet after seeing 4H girl pics)
 
Are those pictures from the real calendar? I doubt it. You should either state that or remove the pictures. Is that bottom picture even from the United States?
 
We at the National Nitwit stand behind our impeccable standards of journalistic integrity, and we are shocked that you would impugn our reliability and reputation as bastions of truthiness.

And yes - the bottom pic is from the United States. Arkansas, to be exact.

Are you saying that you hate Arkansans, just because some of them are barefoot and walk along dirt roads?

Bob, for one, thinks that barefoot Arkansas women are hot. Really hot. And, let's just say that you haven't really lived until you've been with a toothless woman.
 
Is it still bestiality if it's beasts doing beasts?

Oh the bovine corpulence!!!
 
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