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3/15/2007

Al-Qaeda Suspect Says He Beheaded Pearl Bailey

Left: Pearl Bailey an al-Qaeda victim?

(Guantanamo Bay) The alleged al-Qaida mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, boasted of being personally responsible for decapitating American singer Pearl Bailey five years ago, in a new transcript released by the Pentagon.

The claim comes on top of 30 other al-Qaida operations he said he been involved in.

"I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American singer, Pearl Bailey, in the city of Washington, DC," the transcript quotes him as saying. "Allah will never forgive Pearl for becoming the spokesperson in that awful series of Duncan Hines commercials in the 1970s. My God - what was she thinking?"

Bailey made her Broadway debut onstage in the hit St. Louis Woman in 1946. She won a Tony Award for the title role in Hello, Dolly! in 1968, and her cover of "It Takes Two to Tango" hit the top ten in 1952. Mohammed said that the decision to kill Pearl Bailey was all his.

"It is clear that Pearl Bailey was very close to Mossad, and for that reason alone she had to die," he said. "But when she had to sell out and do voices for Disney's The Fox and the Hound, that made it easy for me to snuff her like a 25 cent First Communion candle."

Khalid Sheikh MohammedKhalid Sheikh Mohammed: No fan of Disney

Mohammed said that there were other targets on his hit list whose lives were spared by his 2003 arrest in Pakistan.

"Allah would have been most pleased if I had killed that FreeCreditReport.com Jew usurer," he acknowledged. "And there would have been a special place in Paradise for me if I had the time to behead Andrew Dice Clay, although I did like that one nursery rhyme of his: 'Three Blind Mice, See how they run. Where the fuck are they going?' That one makes me laugh every time!"

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