National Nitwit

(Poughkeepsie, NY) Steve Torrance first came across the Internet popup ad for Orbitz Baseball two weeks ago, and he has been hooked on the "Swing for the Fences" game/ad ever since.

The unemployed truck driver smacked a personal-best 112 home runs on Orbitz Baseball this afternoon, earning thunderous applause from the crowd.

"It's a lot like the regular game, except you either strike out or hit home runs," he said, smacking a low slider into the left-center field seats in Orbitz Stadium. "The key to the game, though, is keeping your cool, especially when the Orbitz pitcher gets cocky after he slips a pitch by you. You get rattled and you're screwed, man."

Torrance, who spends two to three hours a day on the game, advises new players to wait for their pitch and not start chasing outside breaking balls.

"Rookies start trying to outguess the pitcher, who's a crafty old salt with a wicked split-fingered fastball," he said, taking a pitch high and inside. "Use a nice, level swing and take your best cut. If you get even a piece of the pitch, it's out of the park, so don't try to muscle it, bro."

Torrance steps up to the plate and stares down the punk-ass Orbitz hurler

Another trap for new sluggers, said Torrance, is allowing the big-league experience to unnerve them.

"When that ump shouts 'STEEEEE-RIKE!' it can get pretty hectic up at the plate," he admitted, blasting a knuckleball into the upper deck amid cheers from the Orbitz crowd. "When you put that Orbitz uniform on, you better be ready to keep a level head and do your job. That's about all a professional can do against tough competitors like the Orbitz pitchers."

Labels: Orbitz, Orbitz baseball, Swing for the Fences