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4/26/2007

ABC Launches "America's Funniest Colostomy Bag Rupture Videos"

(Los Angeles) Capitalizing on its successful America's Funniest Home Videos franchise, ABC announced today that the network will premier a new viewer-submitted video program focusing on the lighter side of colostomy bags.

To help boost ratings, ABC will be bringing back longtime Home Video host Bob Saget, who briefly spoke with National Nitwit reporters on the show's set.

"Look - a colostomy patient is a walking bag of humor - heh heh - and every colostomate we have met thinks this show will be a winner," he said in between voiceovers. "Like this lady Theresa we got a video from. She has this absolutely hilarious video of her 74th birthday where her dimwitted husband accidentally punctures her colostomy bag with the knife he was going to use to cut her cake, and the shit winds up EVERYWHERE! Just priceless!"

Saget said that he was surprised that so many colostomy patients would be willing to share videos of what many people consider to be an embarassing situation.

"These folks have a lot of intestinal fortitude," he chuckled. "These parents sent one in of their two-year-old, who is having difficulty adjusting to wearing the bag. Little Jacob is on the playground, coming off the slide, and there's this brown streak behind him. Best part is where all the normal kids run away screaming, like he's a monster or something with all that liquid waste dribbling down the front of the kid. Oh man - I laughed for a week!"

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Comments:
Why would somebody even film that? ABC is nasty!
 
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