.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Lucky Man Keeps Finding All These Dead Bodies

(Dallas, TX) A Dallas-area man has an odd sort of luck - everywhere he goes, it seems, he comes across a dead body.

Marshall Sheehan, of Plano, said that he never ceases to be amazed at the number of dead bodies that show up near him.

"This dead dude in the field behind my house was the tenth dead body I have discovered this year," he said, stufing a pair of latex gloves in his jacket pocket. "I'm like the Paris Hilton of dead bodies, except I'm not bagging them. Heh."

Sheehan said that his habit of finding dead bodies extends back to his early teen years.

"I used to find a lot of dead cats, dogs, and small children in my neighborhood," he said, wiping off a smudged crosscut saw. "It seemed like all I had to do was walk into an abandoned building or patch of woods, and then BAM! Another dead body."

Whoops! Yet another dead body for lucky Sheehan

The source of his knack for finding dead bodies, said Sheehan, remains something of a mystery.

"I'm not quite sure how I do it. I think it's like a sixth sense or one of those kinds of deals," he said, wiping some stains off the floor of his pickup. "I'll just be walking along, and I get this, like, idea or something. I guess I serve a useful purpose for the cops, finding all these dead bodies and whatnot."

Labels: , ,

Um, did anyone ever stop to think this guy might have something to do with these dead bodies? No one is THAT lucky.
Either way he's one lucky stiff ;-)
a guy with a name like that is probably behind a satellite
it is no gift to see how many are dying because of the new form of inhumanity created by satellite surveillance
and LUCKY is not the word for it
that is sick
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?