National Nitwit

(Dallas, TX) A Dallas-area man has an odd sort of luck - everywhere he goes, it seems, he comes across a dead body.

Marshall Sheehan, of Plano, said that he never ceases to be amazed at the number of dead bodies that show up near him.

"This dead dude in the field behind my house was the tenth dead body I have discovered this year," he said, stufing a pair of latex gloves in his jacket pocket. "I'm like the Paris Hilton of dead bodies, except I'm not bagging them. Heh."

Sheehan said that his habit of finding dead bodies extends back to his early teen years.

"I used to find a lot of dead cats, dogs, and small children in my neighborhood," he said, wiping off a smudged crosscut saw. "It seemed like all I had to do was walk into an abandoned building or patch of woods, and then BAM! Another dead body."

Whoops! Yet another dead body for lucky Sheehan

The source of his knack for finding dead bodies, said Sheehan, remains something of a mystery.

"I'm not quite sure how I do it. I think it's like a sixth sense or one of those kinds of deals," he said, wiping some stains off the floor of his pickup. "I'll just be walking along, and I get this, like, idea or something. I guess I serve a useful purpose for the cops, finding all these dead bodies and whatnot."

Labels: cadavers, corpses, dead bodies