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4/29/2007

Neil Clark Warren Debuts eConflict.com - Matching Couples One Slug at a Time

(New York) Hoping to capitalize on the success of his eHarmony.com flagship, psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren unveiled a new dating service.

Titled eConflict.com, the site caters to dysfunctional couples who enjoy "beating the ever-loving bejeezus" out of each other, said Warren.

"At eConflict our patented Compatibility Matching System narrows the field from millions of candidates to a highly select group of singles with whom you share deep levels of compatibility, especially the propensity toward abject violence," he said. "No longer will violent couples have to suffer the indignity of domestic violence charges and restraining orders by dating people who dislike getting their asses kicked."

Warren said that the techniques honed with eHarmony.com have proven effective in the rollout of eConflict.com.

"Our years of exhaustive research with thousands of couples found that there are 29 Key Dimensions of Compatibility necessary for success in a long term relationship," he said. "The same is true for violence-prone couples. You like getting smacked with an old tree branch? We'll find you someone who likes tree branches, too, and who is not afraid to chuck a couple of dishes at you, either."

eConflict.com - Sometimes love comes with bruises and lacerations

Warren added that - for many violent people - lasting relationships had become an "unreachable dream" before the advent of eConflict.com.

"Isn't it time you experienced the joy of falling in love with someone who sees you, loves you, and accepts you for who you are, even if you like to grabe your woman by the hair and smack her when she acts up?" he asked. "This is the kind of joy that comes from true compatibility, and eConflict.com brings it to even the most physical of dating prospects. Listen - you got a problem with that? Because if you do, I'll be more than happy to kick your ass right here and now, dickweed."

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