National Nitwit

(London) Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, who said he snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine, told National Nitwit reporters that this was not his only experiment in Oedipal cannibalism.

In the week before his mother Doris Dupree entered the hospital in 1971 with ovarian cancer, Richards said that he "purloined one of her bloody plugs" and used it as a martini stirrer.

"Look, mate - she was going in for major surgery, and there was a very good chance I might never see her again," he said. "I wanted... a part of her, something to remember her by. That, and I couldn't find my silver stirrer. I think the fucking maid nicked it."

Richards said that his consumption of his mother's ovarian discharge was a "sign of respect."

"She carried me in her belly, brought me into this world, and nursed me on her teat," he said, looking out a second-story window at his gardens. "It's the fucking least I could do for her, a way to show her that I appreciate all the shit I put her through."

A stirring moment for the anxious Richards

The serious illness of his mother, said Richards, "changed my whole outlook on life."

"I thought it was about time she stepped out of that closed shell. I knew she had bad periods, even if he didn't want to talk about it," he said. "You eventually realize that you're not the only one who is lonely or having problems. When I sat in her living room, sipping my drink through the bloody pad, I think I finally understood her, you know? I swear I almost heard her voice as I pulled the string out of my mouth."

Labels: Keith Richards, Rolling Stones, Tampons