National Nitwit

Guest editorial by Sarah Wermacht, homemaker

If you watch those TV ads closely when they advertise disinfectant cleaners, they always show microscopic photos of bacteria they supposedly killed, but there is always one or two of those nasty germs still wiggling around, trying to plan a way to get in your baby's stomach and make them very sick.

It's time that Americans stand up and demand disinfectants that kill every last microbe.

Do you want YOUR baby drinking out of a bottle that still has one or two Ebola viruses on it? It only takes one to kill your baby, dear young mother, and you know those foreign nannies and au pairs at the playground are just COVERED with Ebola and yellow fever and Lassa vrus and smallpox and God knows what else.

And don't even get me going about those nasty immigrants at Carl's Jr. and Burger King. Just seeing them put their dirty hands on my food makes me want to puke right their at the counter, knowing they are back there scratching their filthy crotches, crawling with pubic lice and scabies. Can you say "ick!"

Left: 99 percent is not good enough for America's children

And what about the toilet seat? Are you willing to settle for only a 99 percent kill rate, what with our husbands and all their FILTHY WHORES carrying hepatitis, AIDS, chlamydia, and 19 different types of herpes?

Are you willing to take a chance on catching anal warts from the toilet seat because your super-stud hubby and his infected dingus peed on the toilet seat, while your disinfectant spray only kills, oh, 99 percent of the germs?

Not me.

That's why I say we should band together and get Congress to mandate disinfectant sprays that do their job. Are America's children and your vaginas not worth it?

Labels: AIDS, bacteria, chlamydia, disinfectant, herpes, immigrants