National Nitwit

Left: recovering espresso addict Kevin Traylor

(Newark, NJ) Kevin Traylor knows a thing or two about addiction.

"When I was about 12, I was smoking pot, drinking, and doing a little acid," he said. "When I was about 16, though this dude showed up at a party with some espresso, and that's how I got introduced to it. My life went downhill from that day."

For the next ten years espresso was the sole focus of Traylor's life. He went through job after job, stealing from employers, friends,and even family members to feed his insatiable desire for the concentrated coffee beverage. He was even arrested and spent time in jail for the crimes he committed while seeking "spresso dough."

"When my feet first hit the floor in the morning I started looking for an espresso fix," he recalled, drumming his fingers on the table. "At first it was pretty fun, but soon I became mentally obsessed, and I finally got to the point that I couldn't do anything but drink espresso. By the time I got myself high enough on pure beans - sometimes up to a pound a day - I started seeing things."

Coffea arabica: tasty, effervescent, and deadly

Rock bottom in his espresso addicition occurred outside a closed New Rochelle bistro.

"I climbed into a dumpster looking for used espresso packets, opening them up and eating the grounds to get high," he said, showing reporters his espresso-damaged teeth. "That's when I knew that I was seriously fucked up."

Now three years into recovery from his addiction, Traylor is on a mission to bust what he calls "the world's biggest drug pusher": global coffee merchant Starbucks.

"Starbucks is selling poison, and they are selling it to kids," he said. "They are marketing addiction, pain and death to children, using that sexy mermaid cartoon character to hook these kids as young as four. These bastards have no souls."

Labels: addiction, espresso, Newark, Starbucks