National Nitwit

A National Nitwit Guest Editorial by Sgt. Ian Rowling
United States Army

Rowling giving an Arab teen water to rinse her deflowered lady business

As a rigorously trained Army sergeant, I know this conflict in Iraq is growing more and more unpopular every day. With over 3,500 dead soldiers, untold stacks of dead Iraqi civilians, the astronomical waste of tax dollars, and no discernable end in sight, most Americans are probably wondering just what this war, as the old Edwin Starr song goes, “is good for.”

Well, my friend, let me tell you: sweet, sweet Arab pussy.

You’re probably thinking this is a crass summation of the death, destruction, and human suffering manifest in this protracted international conflict, but I need to ask an important question—have you ever felt the warm, moist box of a sheepherder’s daughter slide so perfectly over your cock that it felt as if God himself specially crafted it for your slightly left-leaning purple-veined howitzer? Thought not.

Or have you ever broken some brown vixen’s hymen over a mule’s back while her two snot-nosed younger brothers look on in terror at her bare breasts, which have only recently developed into meaty C-cups? Check and mate.

As civilians, you’re only getting one side of the story, and with all due respect, it’s the California liberal bring-our-boys-home-now version. Which is far from the truth indeed if you fall asleep every night, as I do, to the gentle weeping of a tenth grader who only moments earlier had your Johnson, balls-deep inside her puckering snatch.

So you see, this war is good for something after all.

Labels: Arab women, Iraq, Iraq war