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As Loud As I Want My Bike to Be, Bee-Atch!

Guest editorial by Phil "Smegma" Coppins,
Hog connoisseur

I see you looking out your curtains, Ms. Nosy-Ass Neighbor, every time I pull up in my driveway on my Harley. And to the question I am sure you are asking, my answer is thus:

As loud as I fucking want it to be, Bee-atch!

You see, God made Harleys loud. Really fucking loud. And for me to try to make my machine sound anything less annoying would be like putting a muzzle on one of those wild-ass lions on National Geographic.

Just not right.

So I am just doing my duty as a caring Harley owner to let this monster growl at 120 decibels, letting this metallic beast live free and ride hard.

Hey listen, though - your lawn guys get started pretty freaking early, and sometimes they are firing up those whiny weed-whackers at like ten o'clock and shit. Do you think you might ask them to cut your grass a little later, when the sun's high in the sky, like three or four in the afternoon? I'd appreciate it - sometimes this beast of mine's gotta ride until the sun comes up.

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