.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

8/07/2007

Fred Flintstone Outraged by Cartoon Humor on Network TV

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

Fred and Barney Watch with Disgust Before Munching Their Pterodactyl Sandwiches

(Los Angeles, CA)—Dedicated family man, social activist, and former television celebrity Fred Flintstone shook Hollywood earlier today when he denounced “the foul and egregious humor” that permeates cartoons that are currently popular on network TV.


“Shows like The Family Guy and The Simpsons have, for several years, crossed the line of respectability, and it’s high-time I said something,” remarked Flintstone while adjusting the collar on his leopard-skin onesie. “Sure, I kept a dinosaur in the house, and was a pitch-man for Winston cigarettes, and sometimes screamed at my wife like she was a Jersey hooker, but at least I didn’t have barbershop quartets bursting into hospital rooms telling people they’ve got the AIDS.”

Flintstone explained how American humor, particularly in animation, had sunk to an all-time low.

“Back in the sixties, the most violent we ever got was a little club humor—you know, Bamm-Bamm bonked some schmuck over the head, that old bit,” Flintstone recalled. “But these days, it’s not uncommon to see this Homer guy choke one of his kids to the point of blacking out. Am I a little jealous? Sure—there were a few times I wanted to choke the shit out of Pebbles—but my point is that kind of discipline needs to happen off-camera.”

Not all in the animation community believe Flintstone’s criticisms are sincere, however, and many suspect that personal motives belie his call for higher standards.

“Flinstone is a bitter has-been, plain and simple,” remarked John Saunders, spokesperson for the Federal Communications Commission. “Mark my words: once this joker gets his name back in the papers, he’ll exploit it for all it’s worth—Fred will be on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club, weeping about his compulsive snacking and Wilma’s secret battle with bipolar disorder.”

Labels: ,


Comments:
Did I read the word "schmuck" in there?
I wonder how many people know the various meanings of that word.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?