National Nitwit

(Indianapolis, IN) Rebecca Gottschalk says that she is "not a prude," but the dead hooker her husband Mark keeps in the basement freezer "has got to go."

"Look - when he was in college, the dead hooker was kind of a joke for him and his friends. Back then, he just had a couch, a big screen, a refrigerator, and the dead hooker in the freezer," she recalled. "It was a total bachelor pad, but the time has come for Mark to grow up and get rid of his dead hooker."

Mrs. Gottschalk said that she is worried about the impression the frozen dead hooker will leave with the couple's two sons, ages 4 and 6.

"Kids are impressionable - they mimic what you do. That's why it's important for them not to see their dad staring at a dead hooker in the freezer," she said. "Already Sean and Harley are asking if they can have their own dead hooker. I tell you - how can you say "no" when Daddy has one?"

Left: Gottschalk laying down the law on the dead hooker in the freezer

The "tipping point" in the dead hooker debate, said Gottschalk, occurred after a recent prank played by her husband Mark.

"It was about midnight, and I crawled into bed. I felt something cold, and when I turned on the light, there was the head of the dead hooker, frozen eyes staring right at me," she said. "Now, I don't have to tell you it scared me silly, seeing a dead hooker's sawed-off head on the pillow next to me. So I told Mark it's either me or the dead hooker, and that he had one week to dump the rest of her remains in the creek. Am I being unreasonable? I think not."

Labels: dead hooker, dead hookers