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9/15/2007

Larry Craig: Aesthetics More Important Than Restroom Sex

(Washington, DC)Embattled Senator Larry Craig, fighting to overturn a conviction in a restroom sex sting, spoke out against accusations that public bathrooms represent nothing more for him than gay sexual encounters.

"Look - for me, there's a lot more happening in your average public restroom than just an anonymous blowjob from a traveling salesman," he noted. "I especially enjoy the smells, like that musky smell of another man's sweaty crotch as I gobble his manmeat."

Craig said that American public restrooms offer "an aesthetic smorgasbord" for the discriminating traveler.

"Take, for example, the acoustics in a terracotta tiled bathroom," he mused. "When I am shooting my wad on some 21-year-old guy's naked back, you can hear the echoed drips as though they were amplified, and there is a particularly gratifying sonic signature to another man's grunt as I drill him in the ass."

There is more to a good public restroom than sounds and smells, added Craig.

"When my perspiration-drenched face is pressed against a cold restroom mirror as some trucker is stuffing my bunghole with his cock, I swear I am almost in paradise," he recalled. "And when I have my tongue shoved halfway up some intern's cum-drenched asshole, let's just say that this is a taste sensation you can never duplicate in the honeymoon suite of the Hilton."

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