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Liberal Yuppie “Totally Peeved” by NPR’s Annual Pledge Drive

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

Walsh: Young, Hip, and Stingy as Hell

(Washington, D.C.)—Ian Walsh, a self-described “latte slurping eco-hipster,” has been a lifelong fan of National Public Radio’s left-of-center investigative reporting and quirky personal-interest stories.

But nothing riles Walsh more than NPR’s annual campaign to raise membership and funding, and this year he claims it’s hit an all-time low.

“Like all loyal listeners, I know NPR needs funding to keep innovative programming alive,” Walsh remarked while finishing his most recent blog entry on his leather futon. “But come on—last night they interrupted a report about fish hatcheries in Indonesia, and this morning a piece about German hostels was cut short…I NEED this news, people, not your bitch-and-moan spiel about listener support yada yada.”

Walsh sipped some steaming chi tea and completed a brief yoga stretch before continuing.

“The whole reason I listen to NPR is because they, like, get me and stuff. And I gave them $20 back in ’02 or ’03, so there’s no reason to guilt trip a dude into shelling out his Discover Card,” Walsh remarked. “But I’m sorry—when there’s a gripping narrative about a blind girl in Madagascar making belts out of turtle shells, and you follow that with some Donation Power Hour, it really makes me question the emotional integrity of my local station.”

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