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Humpback Whales to Release Zeppelin Tribute Album

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

The Mighty Humpback: On the Stairway to Success

(Washington, D.C.)—As the media hysteria about Led Zeppelin’s December 10th one-off reunion concert is reaching epic proportions, Atlantic Records announced yet another marketing ploy earlier this morning.

A group of humpback whales have recorded a Zeppelin tribute album, which will hit stores just in time for the holiday season.

“All of our Zeppelin favorites are rerecorded on this wonderfully eclectic new disc,” beamed Jon Richards, a senior publicist for Atlantic. “From ‘Immigrant Song’ to ‘Whole Lotta Love,’ this CD has them all, arranged especially for the majestic moaning of the humpback in heat. My personal favorite is the touching rendition of ‘Going to California,’ which sounds breathtaking even without the mandolin.”

Some critics, however, have decried this move as nothing short of a shameless attempt to exploit the legacy of a rock music icon.

Led Zeppelin: The Scam Remains the Same

“Led Zeppelin has been defunct for nearly three decades, and it’s bad enough this reunion is going to be a complete disappointment,” remarked Stan Jacobs, a freelance reporter for Rolling Stone magazine. “But now there’s another ‘Best Of’ collection, all sorts of merchandizing crap to sell t-shirts at your local mall, and finally this goddamn album of whale farts. Anyone who can listen to a nine-minute humpback version of ‘Dazed and Confused’ deserves to have their balls cut off and eaten by a puma.”

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