National Nitwit

(Harrisburg, PA) Guitar whizzes are a dime a dozen on Guitar Hero, the video game that uses a guitar-shaped peripheral to simulate the playing of rock music.

Few players, however, can boast of the skills exhibited by 24-year-old Peter Senzaarto, a man born without arms who is setting afire the community of Guitar Hero aficionados.

"Dude, Peter is sensational. His first solo ["Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas] was one of the finest I have ever heard someone play," said Harrisburg resident Tom "Tweedy" Upshaw. "This cat does more with his little toes on Guitar Hero than I could do with four fucking arms. Incredible!"

Neighbor Michael Restall, who acquainted Senzaarto with the video game three years ago, said that the armless Wunderkind is "simply the world's greatest" virtual guitarist.

"You can’t manufacture authenticity, and this dude has plenty of it," said Restall. "From the heart, he lets loose; his struggles as well as his triumphs in life go hand in hand - err, make that foot-in-foot - with the music he plays."

Not all residents in this blue collar neighborhood give Senzaarto such glowing praise, though.

"Honestly? Pete needs to do something about the crud on his feet," noted Breanna Geiger, sister to one of Sezaarto's posse. "I mean, I might be even willing to do him if I was drunk, but the thought of those crusty, creepy toes scraping up and down my leg? No way."