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Pedophile Vows: "No Child's Behind Left Behind"

(Terre Haute, IN) Craig Baxter, a local afficianado of puerile pleasures, announced that he will initiate a campaign of "caring and cuddling" for Terre Haute area children.

Tentaively known as "No Child's Behind Left Behind," the program will target disadvantaged and disaffected youth throughout Indiana.

"Pretty basically, I've got a lot of love for kids, and lots of room in my van," he noted. "It's a shame that there are so many youngsters crying out for attention. I just want to help."

Baxter said that other members of the "kid-friendly" community to which he belongs have expressed interest in the non-profit movement.

"Oh yes - there is a ton of interest in expanding the target demographic," he said, pausing to check some instant messages on his laptop. "I can tell you that there is no lack of enthusiasm for a child's behind here."

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