.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

4/21/2008

Dominatrix Afficianados Praise Beefed Up Legislation

Special to National Nitwit via Sparky News Network

(Albany, NY) (SNN) Submissives will finally gain some relief from Doms who can’t properly finish a scene or who end a scene "early" because of a pain or injury they develop. At a press conference early this afternoon, the state legislature announced that it passed controversial bill HD-1269 by an overwhelming majority.

The bill originally, promoted by former governor Eliot Spitzer and known as the Doms with Disabilities Act (DWDA), provides relief for Doms or Dommes who tire easily (due to age or fatigue) or become injured during a sexual performance.

The bill would allow a licensed Dom who becomes disabled some relief during a scene. For example, under the DWDA any Doms complaining of some physical pain in their arms, shoulders, legs or hands. The law would make it legal for another Dom or an “unlicensed” Dom to “Pinch Hit” or take over the task of the injured Dom during the scene. The injured Dom would still have to remain there to oversee the unlicensed Dom.

New York dominatrix Miss Fisty praised legislators for their efforts.

"The natural position of a Dom is one of straddling, not taking it up the ass like a girly-wimp," she told reporters, polishing a 17-inch black dildo as she spoke. "And I am confident that this legislation... hey, you little bitch: did I say you could look at me? Huh? Get on the floor and lick the toejam out between my foot digits, you disgusting piece of shit! And while you're at it, bend over: I want to ram you with this piece of broken glass, maggot."

Under the DWDA, the Dom could also be seated and flog away at the submissive. However, it would be a violation under the Act for a Dom with LDS (Lazy Dom Syndrome) to weedle his way out of his responsibilities by using a chair to sit in during the scene.

The DWDA also does not consider working up a ‘sweat” or becoming “out of breath” as a legal copout simply because the Dom is “out of shape.” The bill also provides for discounts on items such as Aleve, Advil, Icy-Hot, Geritol or Viagra for the whiney Dom.

The legislature also announced that it is working on a “submissive’s bill of rights.” under the new “Let’s Play Tonight” reform Acts. The new law is scheduled to take effect May 1, 2008.

Labels:


Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?