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Next Season of ‘The Family Guy’ Rife with Similes

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

Like the Simpsons, Sans the Political Commentary & Social Relevance

(Los Angeles, CA)—Now that summer repeats dominate the network airwaves, few viewers are thinking of the impending season premieres that await them this autumn. However, writers for the popular animated series The Family Guy are already hard at work, and their goal for next season is simple: they plan to litter each episode with predictably tangential similes.

“Since the show has been around for nearly eight years, we’ve pretty much reduced things to a basic blueprint,” explained senior writer Evan Foley between mouthfuls of corn chips. “Every other line of dialogue needs to have a completely whacky simile where we can cut away, show a bizarre clip, and then return to whatever pretense of plot we’ve established. For example, Brian might say something like, ‘God Peter, that was an awkward dinner party,’ and then Peter says ‘it was almost as awkward as that time we stumbled backstage at the circus and saw that tiger masturbating to an issue of National Geographic.’ Then we show the tiger jacking off. I mean, this shit pretty much writes itself.”

And while criticism for the show ranges from accusations of plagiarism to plain bad taste, it still boasts a bevy of fans despite its increasingly formulaic humor.

“Man, The Family Guy is just straight-up fucking hilarious, what with all the fart jokes and like…it’s just so fucking funny,” boomed Jeff Sarens, a sophomore at San Diego Community College and Vice President of The Family Guy’s official fan club. “I mean, have you seen the show? The dog talks, the baby talks, Peter is a complete nut…I can’t believe no one ever thought to make a cartoon for adults before. I mean, with adult humor and stuff. It’s simply never been done. Ever. That’s what makes The Family Guy so original, so fresh. First of its kind. So you guys want to get high or what?”


Hey, Cheyanne here......how do you know Mitch from Hitler Was a Dallas Cowboys Fan who linked to you? Are you Mitch? Just looked at the Technocrati site where we are all linked to together somehow.

Just wondering?


Holy Toledo!

Well, I'm still being dicked around and it's got the M word written all over it.
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