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9/15/2008

What Are YOU Looking At, Jerkoff?

A Guest Editorial
by a Yellowjacket


Honestly? Being a yellowjacket is better than being President of the United-fucking-States, that's what I think. You see, yellowjackets aren't like anybody else. We do whatever we want.

We buzz around a trash can, and nobody calls the cops. We fly into your kid's Pepsi, and what are you gonna do? It's OURS now, you little wise-ass. Go find another Pepsi.

Being a yellowjacket means people look at me differently, and they knew I'm with somebody. SomeBODIES, that is, and we will make your life miserable just for the hell of it. I don't have to wait in line at the bakery on Sunday morning for fresh bread - I fly right the fuck in and grab a bite.

What are YOU gonna do about it? BUZZ!

If we want something, we just take it. If anyone complains, they get stung so bad they never complain again. It's all just routine - you don't even think about it.

Little kid in the park sees me, tells his Mom that I'm "funny." What do you mean I'm "funny", I says? BUZZ! BUZZ!!

I buzz and sting the little fucker on the forehead. Does that look "funny" to you, you little prick? You mean, let me understand this cause, you know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm exactly "funny" how? I mean "funny" like I'm a clown, I fucking amuse you? Like I make you laugh, like I'm here to fucking amuse you? Just what do you mean funny, funny how? Exactly how am I funny?

Three more stings just for good measure. STING! STING! STING!

And when it's nest-building time, we gotta do some heavy work. So what? Who the fuck cares? I'll dig the fucking hole. I don't give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I ever dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fucking dig a hole. Where are the shovels? BUZZ! BUZZ!

I'm a yellowjacket, and you'd be well advised to go fuck yourself, for all I care.

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