10/27/2005
Janet: I'm Not A Mother
(Los Angeles, CA) Janet Jackson today denied that she has ever given birth to any children.
The secretive pop diva broke her silence Wednesday on assertions by her former brother-in-law that she has a secret 18-year-old daughter.
"I do not have a child, and all allegations saying so are false," Jackson said in a brief statement. "All of my offspring were hatched, as is the fashion on the planet from which I was sent."
Jackson added that her species does not even recognize fillial ties.
"We do not accept the notion of 'family,' at least not as earthlings recognize it," she said. "This whole 'Jackson' nonsense was created by Berry Gordy as a way for my people to seamlessly integrate into Earth society. Obviously, given the fact that our 'family' is so dysfunctional, you can see that this has not worked out."
James DeBarge said on the air that his brother and Jackson, who were briefly married from 1984 to 1985, had a baby together. The child, named Renee, was allegedly raised by Jackson's fictive sister Rebbie.
"Look - I disavow any connection to this person," said Jackson, showing reporters an unusual external egg sac. "Do you think that a human could gestate in this reptilian appendage? I think not."
# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 9:36 AM
