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173 Detainees Abuse Selves To Embarass Bush

(Baghdad, Iraq) Iraq's main Sunni political party has called for an international inquiry into the alleged self-abuse by more than 170 detainees in Baghdad.

The prisoners were found in a US raid on an Iraqi interior ministry building in the central Jadiriya district of Baghdad.

"We want an international and impartial inquiry as we are beginning to think there are people high up in government who are responsible for abusing themselves," said Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari. "It is unconscionable that people would torture themselves just to make President Bush and me look bad."

A joint statement by the American Embassy and the United States military command called the situation "totally unacceptable" and said American officials "agree with Iraq's leaders that self-abuse by detainees will not be tolerated."

For American officials in Iraq, still smarting from the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, the new allegations came at a particularly inopportune moment.

Brigadier Geneneral Karl Horst of the Third Infantry Division, the commander of the raid, said that there would be more operations directed at uncovering secret detention centers.

"We're going to hit every single one of them," he said. "We will not allow these sick individuals to beat the ever-living shit out of themselves just to weaken the war on terrorism."

Bastards - those terrorists will do anything to undermine the US mission.
When you said that they were abusing themselves, I thought that they were...
WHAT?? WHAT?? Say it!

You thought they were saving 15% on their car insurance with GEICO, didn't you Hooda?
Some people never learn. Now if we question the validity of the coallition government, we're falling into a terrorist trap!
This is very dark humor, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Damn prisoners, leave self abuse to the experts.

Unless certain DVDs have lied to me self abuse in prisons consists of two hot blondes in Orange boiler suits.

Cowering Mesopotamiam gentlemen with sleep deprivation and fearful looks in their eyes do not belong in this picture.
"You thought they were saving 15% on their car insurance with GEICO, didn't you Hooda?"

Close, but no cigar ;-)
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