.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

12/20/2005

Jimmy Fallon To Publish Novel About Russian Revolution


By Billy Pilgrim, Recovering Liquid Luncher and National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Los Angeles, CA)—After years of notoriety on Saturday Night Live and several leading film roles, Hollywood jokester Jimmy Fallon has set his sights on literary pursuits, and plans to publish his first novel—which is set amidst the harrowing Bolshevik Revolution of 1917—in early 2006.

Fallon’s publisher, Simon & Schuster, Inc., anticipate that Last Train to Magnitogorsk will be a huge post-holiday blockbuster, and have already distributed three million copies to leading retailers and booksellers around the country.

Never one to shy away from publicity, Fallon was wittily energetic in an exclusive interview with the National Nitwit.

“I have always loved how Russians like, talk weird and drink lots of vodka, so I figured: why not write about that?” Fallon revealed in a poolside discussion at his Beverly Hills estate. “But the real catalyst was the word ‘tsar,’ which you can also spell ‘czar.’ I think that’s called a homonym or something…I wrote a song about it if you have a minute.”

However, not everyone in the literary community echoes Fallon’s sophomoric optimism, and many academics question Fallon’s ability to accurately depict historical events.

Dr. William Royce, professor of Slavic studies at the University of Nebraska, had this to say after hearing of Fallon’s novel: “That guy is functionally retarded. I bet you in five years, he’s working parcel pick-up at a Home Depot in Sacramento, right alongside Colin Quinn. He made a movie with Queen Latifah, for Christ’s sake.”

Royce added that Fallon's novel has serious anachronistic flaws.

"Magnitogorsk was a Soviet planned city that did not even exist until 1929," said Royce. "In addition, none of the Romanov daughters were named Anna Kournikova."

Comments:
Fallon sucks ass.

I am a lousy comic too, but at least I can get da bitches.
 
Fallon is like a poor man's Mike Myers, only a really poor guy with patches in his pants and food stamps and stuff.

I should know, because I'm Michael Myers.
 
Oh yeah?

You both can kiss my ass.

And buy my book.
 
Fallon has delusions of adequacy.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?