.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


US To Augment Border Wall With Land Mines, Rottweilers

(Washington, DC) The Department of Homeland Security unveiled revamped proposals to secure the nation's borders.

Included in these proposals: land mines, throat-ripping Rottweilers, and machine gun towers.

"We will do whatever it takes to stop the flood of illegal immigrants into this country," said Secretary Michael Chertoff. "Illegal aliens have no business coming here and taking the shitty jobs taxpaying Americans do not want."

Chertoff also decried the social costs of illegal immigration.

"Have you ever turned on a radio in state like Texas or Florida? It's nothing but Tejano, salsa, and punto music, and you can't find Garth Brooks to save your life," he said. "Plus, do you want your daughter coming home with one of those shifty bastards? I think not."

Mexican President Vicente Fox denounced the US measures, passed by the House of Representatives last Friday, as “shameful."

"Let's just say that Mexicans will still find a way in," he said. "Besides, the cable down here sucks. Can you really blame Mexicans for wanting to go north for more 'Martha Stewart: The Apprentice?'"

The House bill, which passed on a vote of 239-182, includes a proposal to build 1,125 kilometers of additional fence through parts of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, and would also enlist military and local law enforcement to help stop illegal entrants.

Chertoff urged Americans to stand fast in the fight against illegal immigration.

"We have to maintain long-standing American traditions of mindless xenophobia against immigrants," he said. "Your Irish, your Italians, and your Chinese all got treated like piles of shit in the past; why should Mexicans get it any easier?"

Rottweilers. Cool!
Here in Costa Rica recently a Rottie guarding a garage killed a Nicaraguan illegal alien who executed an illegal entry. This generated many jokes.Here are some examples: (1) What do you call a bus full of Nicas? Canned dog food.
(2) The statue of the National Hero,Juan Santamaria, is being replaced with a statue of a Rottweiler
(3)The government announced that the border police are being disbanded and will be replaced by Rottweillers.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?