.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Bush Expands Spy Program, Unveils New "Sani-Cams"

Left: View from one of the Department of Homeland Security's new Sani-Cams

(Washington, DC) The Bush Administration, under fire for a domestic spying campaign to root out terrorists, announced today that new steps will be taken to uncover terrorist plots.

President Bush outlined one of the techniques that operatives in the Department of Homeland Security will be using.

"Listen - terrorists goota take a dump just like anyone else," he said. "We will now require all public restrooms to be equipped with Sani-Cams to root out covert activity in the nation's restrooms."

Security cameras in Logan International Airport gave Bush the idea.

Left: Atta, moments after doing God only knows what in an airport restroom

"Mohamed Atta was in the Logan terminal restroom for something like nine minutes before boarding Flight 11," he said. "What was he doing in there all that time? Maybe if we had Sani-Cams in Logan on 9-11, the lives of thousands of people might have been saved."

The President said that the Sani-Cams will also have hidden benefits, such as preventing terrorist detonations of deadly stink bombs.

"If any of those terrorist types think they can get jobs at fast food restaurants and forget to wash their hands, they are dead wrong," said Bush. "We will bust their asses fast, long before they can go back into the kitchen and get their E.coli - tainted fingers on the nation's burger buns."

You are some funny bastards all right
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?