.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

1/21/2006

Park Service Renames Statue of Liberty “Freedom Bitch”


By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Ellis Island, NY)—After months of behind-the-scenes jockeying by the Bush Administration, the National Park Service has rechristened the Statue of Liberty “Freedom Bitch,” in a move that is sure to raise a firestorm of controversy in the coming weeks.

The copper statue—originally dubbed “Liberty Enlightening the World”—was the centerpiece of America’s centennial celebration in 1886, and was seen as a supreme gesture of goodwill between the U.S. and France.

However, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan offered some compelling rhetoric for the name change during a news conference yesterday afternoon.

“Let me assure you: the President appreciates the powerful legacy of this national monument,” McClellan explained, “but ‘liberty’ has like, a revolutionary feel. Have you seen our approval ratings? If people start taking it to the streets, we’re fucked—I’m talkin’ Lyndon Johnson fucked.”

Several neo-conservative think-tanks have also aggressively supported this ideological shift.

“Look: we’re at war, case closed,” boomed Frank Parker, founder of the American Heritage Foundation. “The new name has attitude. Nothing will strike more fear into the hearts of terrorists than a spiky-haired, pyromaniac chick. And if that means pissing off Frenchy, so be it.”

Comments:
Plus "Freedom Bitch" will resonate with younger, hip-hop generation kids.
 
I'm surprised they didn't give her a Harley-Davidson bandana and replace her torch with an M-16.
 
You should see the tattoo.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?