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Sharon Battling Massive Smiting From God

(Jerusalem) Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, in critical condition following a second stroke, continued to fight back against the divine action.

"God sent down a mighty smite on Ariel Sharon for dividing his land," said television evangelist Pat Robertson. "I just don't understand why that fat bastard hasn't died, though. Usually when you get a Godsmack, that's it. Done. End of story."

Sharon, 77, remains in a Jerusalem hospital after suffering the severe stroke. He was breathing with the aid of a ventilator after doctors operated to stop the bleeding in his brain this morning.

Robertson remained upbeat that the divine retribution would prevail.

"I'm sure God is just about ready to send another lightning bolt or something," he said. "What's the point in letting Sharon live? He can go right back out and give away God's land again."

Robertson, 75, last stirred controversy in August when he called for the assassination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. He criticized Israeli doctors for interfering with divine will.

"This just shows the Jews are heathens," he said. "Of course, considering that they murdered Jesus Christ, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that these shifty bastards are up to no good."

Pat Robertson is a senile asshole who needs his own Godsmack, and soon.
It's coming, people. Pat has been getting on my nerves for quite a few months now, and as soon as I can free up a heavenly host, his ass is toast.

Hey - "host" and "toast" - I sound like Jesse Jackson. Cool!
Lord of Above or not - I want royalties, or I will lead a boycott of the Pearly Gates.

Sorry, man.
Ha ha ha!

You guys are funny.
If Ariel Sharon is in a coma, how did he type his groaning?

Just wondering.
is america so screwed that people like pat shithead robertson has national voice. i forgot geoge no brain bush is president, all those dickhead evangelicals......they should unite and form their own country with their own laws shit laws and shit beliefs, they can go to israel if they want
Thanks for the turn-on to your site which I like and am going to add a link to. Pat got prostate cancer a couple of years ago which I guess is God's punishment and/or attempt to keep Pat from screwing us anymore.
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