.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

2/18/2006

Bush Calls For 5 Million Shitty Jobs For Illegal Immigrants


(Tampa, FL) President Bush, addressing a question posed to him by an audience member of a rally in this Florida city, implored the nation's business leaders to help with an estimated 10 million illegal aliens.

"If there's a willing employer and a willing worker on a job an American won't do, then it's OK to fill that job, so long as you're not here permanently," Bush said. "I therefore ask this country's CEOs to create at least 5 million really shitty jobs for these greasers to work. That ought to be enough, since a lot of these shifty bastards are just going to collect welfare, anyways."

Bush said that many of the country's border patrol officers are spending more time chasing Mexican immigrants who are trying to find a job in the United States than they are looking for actual terrorists.

"Agriculture relies upon a lot of people willing to do the work that others won't do," he said. "So I urge the nation's farmers to to grow another 500 million tomato plants so these suckers can get busy."

While acknowledging the nation's immigration problem, Bush denied that he is being soft on illegal immigrants.

"I am just as sick of the rest of you hearing these cha-cha songs on the radio, instead of wholesome music like Josh Groban," he said. "There's nothing I'd like better than driving a big-ass bulldozer through these low-riders when they gather in the McDonald's parking lot. But they're here, and we may as well get 'em working instead of trying to get in your high school daughter's pants, right?"

Subcomandante Bob says: "Brrreeeport."

Comments:
Ha!
 
Yeah, laugh now. If we don't do something soon, we're going to have to change our name to "The United States of..." well, of something.

But it won't be "America", that's for sure.
 
Look, Waydo - we just want to eat.

Either let us work, or we will stare at you in the mall and make you really, really uncomfortable.

We mean it.
 
funny shit. But I'm no wado, wedo, huedo, or however you want to spell the shit.
 
he he he!
 
Good stuff NN!

I hope five million is enough!
 
Way too much truth again Bob.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?