.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

2/23/2006

Demolition Begins For Samarra Taco Bell

Left: Gaudy mosque to make way for shiny new Taco Bell

(Samarra, Iraq) Contractors detonated bombs inside one of Iraq's holiest Shiite shrines Wednesday, destroying its golden dome and clearing the way for the Big Bell Value Menu to make its debut in this Iraqi city.

Bill Pearce, Chief Marketing Officer of Taco Bell, the world's largest Mexican food chain, said the landscaping is simply part of the company's brand and image.

"We want to be perceived as the bold choice in quick service restaurants," he said. "We want our landscaping to enforce that and obviously landscaping is the first thing a customer sees when they scratch their heads at the absence of a mosque."



With the gleaming dome of the 1200-year old Askariya shrine reduced to rubble, Pearce said that residents of Samarra will soon see the chain's signature purple bell where once walked two revered Shiite imams, who are considered by Shiites to be among the successors of the Prophet Muhammad.

"We have integrated the imam tombs into the dining room design," he said, gesturing toward a laptop blueprint. "We are also thinking of naming a new product - the Caliph Crunch Taco - just for the grand opening."

"Many ignorant people will be pushed to do the same to the Sunni sacred places," said Brig. Gen. Mudhir Moula, a high-ranking official in the Iraqi Defense Ministry. "We can only hope that the Sunnis get something bad to eat, like Baghdad Burger outlets. That would serve those infidels, and may they be cursed by Allah by never getting a straw for their drink at the drive-thru. That's a righteous curse, my friend."brrreeeport krugle

Comments:
Oh, that is wicked. But funny.
 
Oh - and I do not like the Stuffed Burrito. It is too large for one hand, as I must always keep at least one hand on my hat.

It's a beret, and I don't want to lose it. I got it from my father, who got it from his father.

One of those kind of stories.
 
I'm almost afraid to laugh.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?