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2/24/2006

Pentagon Names Another Helicopter After Subjugated Indian Tribe


By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Washington, DC) After months of research and development, the Pentagon announced today that it would name its latest helicopter prototype the “Susquehannock” after a small but noble Mid-Atlantic tribe, which was wiped from the planet by disease and starvation well over two centuries ago.

The choice is the latest in a long-standing tradition which has seen many tribes—such as the Black Hawk, Comanche, Chinook, among many others—lend their heritage to aerial warfare.

“This is a giant leap forward in military technology,” stated General Tom Oberlin, who spoke to an elite core of pro-military reporters earlier this morning. “I can think of no greater honor for the first Americans than to share their name with a spectacularly destructive instrument of death. I only wish they were alive to see it.”

Oberlin seemed optimistic the Susquehannock would be fit for battle later this year.

“We hope to have this puppy tomahawking Iraqi children by Christmas,” Oberlin confidently remarked. “This machine is a fitting tribute to the proud Susquehannock people and their Great Spirit, and our servicemen will remember that every time they bomb a church or hospital back to the Stone Age.”brrreeeport krugle

Comments:
How.
 
How about a little reciprocity, isn't it time they started naming a few casinos after tanks?
 
Black Hawk was a chief, not a tribe. There is a statue of him outside Oregon, Illinois by a noted sculpter whose name escapes me right now. By the way, Black Hawk is an answer to a tough trivia quiz. What three professional sport teams are named after real people? The answer is Cleveland Browns, Buffalo Bills and Chicago Blackhawks.

Joe
 
Hey Joe, go fuck yourself.
 
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