.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

2/24/2006

Pentagon Names Another Helicopter After Subjugated Indian Tribe


By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Washington, DC) After months of research and development, the Pentagon announced today that it would name its latest helicopter prototype the “Susquehannock” after a small but noble Mid-Atlantic tribe, which was wiped from the planet by disease and starvation well over two centuries ago.

The choice is the latest in a long-standing tradition which has seen many tribes—such as the Black Hawk, Comanche, Chinook, among many others—lend their heritage to aerial warfare.

“This is a giant leap forward in military technology,” stated General Tom Oberlin, who spoke to an elite core of pro-military reporters earlier this morning. “I can think of no greater honor for the first Americans than to share their name with a spectacularly destructive instrument of death. I only wish they were alive to see it.”

Oberlin seemed optimistic the Susquehannock would be fit for battle later this year.

“We hope to have this puppy tomahawking Iraqi children by Christmas,” Oberlin confidently remarked. “This machine is a fitting tribute to the proud Susquehannock people and their Great Spirit, and our servicemen will remember that every time they bomb a church or hospital back to the Stone Age.”brrreeeport krugle

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 12:40 AM
Comments:
How.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5:55 PM
 
How about a little reciprocity, isn't it time they started naming a few casinos after tanks?
# posted by Blogger Chris : 11:33 PM
 
Hey Joe, go fuck yourself.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 8:23 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?