.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

3/18/2006

Saint Patrick's Day Is Favorite Holiday Of Local Masochist


By: Banfu T. Burnside, National Nitwit Contributing Editor

Local masochist and general fetishist, Don Mellon, declared this St. Patrick's Day "the best holiday ever," after purposefully omitting green from his wardrobe to invite pinches from strangers.

"The key is making it seem like an honest oversight," gushed Mellon, who spent the day frequenting public spaces while wearing a blue collared shirt and tan slacks. "When you get a pinch, you have to play it off, like you didn't even know what day it was."

During the course of the day, Mellon was said to have received upwards of twenty-three pinches, and was smashed in the face with a pint glass. At the time of this interview, he was clearly savoring every one.

Sitting on the curb outside O'Flanagan's, a tiki-bar turned Irish pub for the evening, Mellon remarked, "God, I can barely feel my tongue!"

After spitting blood into the gutter he glanced at his watch.

"Midnight," he sighed. "I'll be back next year. It's just like I dreamed." Paris Hilton

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 8:31 AM
Comments:
That reminded me of an old joke that killed in the Catskills.

Masochist: "Beat me Beat me!"
Sadist: "No!"

Thanks I'll be here all week try the Lox!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 3:25 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?