.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Queen Celebrates Birthday with Perfectly-Formed Turd

(London) Queen Elizabeth II turned 80 on Friday, taking the opportunity to display the only piece of excrement that the monarch produced in the last 9 months.

"It is a rare moment indeed when my body even creates waste, and when I do, they are exquisite in design and composition," said the Queen in a prepared statement of the tightly-coiled shite. "I take this moment to share with the British people the latest magnificent monarchial mudpie, which was delivered most propitiously on this momentous birthday."

Amid a chorus of "oohs" and "aahs" from delighted onlookers at the Windsor Walkabout, the Queen wrapped the regal spool in a velvet cloth, placing it in a box.

"We shall save this imperial dung for posterity," she announced. "This noble stool sample will be preserved for future generations of Britons to honor and enjoy."

A spokesman for the Queen joined in the chorus of manurial admirers.

"Oh, it is a blessed moment, and I shall forever be grateful for having witnessed the unveiling of this perfect royal spoor," said Buckingham Palace spokesman Geoffrey Crawford. "God be praised." Andrew+Card

My! What a most delightful piece of dookie!
Thank you, my dear. I'm really quite proud of the loaf that I pinched.
Yep, it's her's alright.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?