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4/21/2006

Queen Celebrates Birthday with Perfectly-Formed Turd


(London) Queen Elizabeth II turned 80 on Friday, taking the opportunity to display the only piece of excrement that the monarch produced in the last 9 months.

"It is a rare moment indeed when my body even creates waste, and when I do, they are exquisite in design and composition," said the Queen in a prepared statement of the tightly-coiled shite. "I take this moment to share with the British people the latest magnificent monarchial mudpie, which was delivered most propitiously on this momentous birthday."

Amid a chorus of "oohs" and "aahs" from delighted onlookers at the Windsor Walkabout, the Queen wrapped the regal spool in a velvet cloth, placing it in a box.

"We shall save this imperial dung for posterity," she announced. "This noble stool sample will be preserved for future generations of Britons to honor and enjoy."

A spokesman for the Queen joined in the chorus of manurial admirers.

"Oh, it is a blessed moment, and I shall forever be grateful for having witnessed the unveiling of this perfect royal spoor," said Buckingham Palace spokesman Geoffrey Crawford. "God be praised." Andrew+Card

Comments:
My! What a most delightful piece of dookie!
 
Thank you, my dear. I'm really quite proud of the loaf that I pinched.
 
Yep, it's her's alright.
 
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