.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Libya to Now Sponsor NASCAR

(Washington, DC) The United States restored full diplomatic relations with Libya today and removed the North African country from its list of state sponsors of terrorism after 27 years.

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi indicated that his country will begin on a new program of sponsorship.

"We are very big fans of NASCAR, and we follow the Nextel Cup Series very closely," said Gaddafi. "My personal favorite is Sterling Marlin, although he did say some rather unkind things about Arabs after 9/11."

Gaddafi said that Libya's previous sponsorship of terrorists "just wasn't working out."

"Ideologically, you know, we are close," he admitted. "But where is the return on investment? We gave the Lockerbie bombers almost a half million dollars, and it was like flushing money down the toilet. All we got was bad press, sanctions, and lawsuits, and the bastards didn't even wear our logo like they promised. Bah!"

The decision to invest in NASCAR, said Gaddafi, was a simple one.

"Listen, friend - every lap those gas-guzzling 5.8 liter beasts make is another dime in old Muammar's pocket," he winked. "And when your children get in their own cars and rev their engines at the stoplight, we clean up. It's a win-win-win, sahib."

Gaddafi is hoping that his country can muscle its way into the competitive marketing world of NASCAR.

"Lowe's just announced a multi-year extension of its primary sponsorship of Hendrick Motorsports and the No. 48 Chevrolet driven by Jimmie Johnson," he said. "We believe that Jimmie will come around quick to placing our flag on his Chevy, especially when he sees the petrodollars we will be waving." Karl Rove Gadaffi Gadaffi Gadaffi

Is that color that Muammar is wearing called Prussian Blue?

You know, Prussian Blue, the color name for that duo of screwed up white (very white) chicks?

yeah, those white supremacist chicks with that race-baiting walrus of a mother?
Leave it to NNitwit to scoop this one.

That's a great shot of Moammar and his cool NASCAR hat.
Does he always look that stoned?
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?