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Crackheads Rate Check-N-Go Top Fast Cash Outlet

Left: Conventioneers scoring during lunch break

(Washington, DC) Members of the National Association for Recidivist Crackheads (NARC) awarded the check-cashing/cash advance firm Check-N-Go its "Golden Pipe" for superior service to the nation's crack cocaine users.

NARC president "Tweaky" Williams lauded the company's efforts to provide quick cash to addicts.

"Check-N-Go offers instant access to check cashing, even without ID," said Tweaky, looking over his shoulder for cops. "I lifted this tax refund outta some guy's mailbox last week, and had $300 in my hand in ten minutes. THAT is service, friend."

Another benefit to using Check-N-Go, said the longtime crackhead, are the firm's employees.

"Loretta over at my local Check-N-Go knows me real well, yet she never gives me any shit when I come in with a check that says 'Verna J. Armstrong' or some other impossible name," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Sure, they take 25% off the top, but when a guy needs fast money there's no better place to go."

Tweaky added that the company's employees are usually pretty sympathetic to the plight of drug users.

"Most places throw me out when I start imagining cops in the back room or crazy stuff like that," he said, scratching at bugs under his skin. "But Check-N-Go's not like that; they even pointed a camera away from me once when I started freaking. You don't get that kind of service at Cash-To-You or Check Jones, no sir."

I've often wondered, "Who in their right mind would use those check cashing joints?"

Thank for clearing that up for me.
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