.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

6/24/2006

Crackheads Rate Check-N-Go Top Fast Cash Outlet

Left: Conventioneers scoring during lunch break

(Washington, DC) Members of the National Association for Recidivist Crackheads (NARC) awarded the check-cashing/cash advance firm Check-N-Go its "Golden Pipe" for superior service to the nation's crack cocaine users.

NARC president "Tweaky" Williams lauded the company's efforts to provide quick cash to addicts.

"Check-N-Go offers instant access to check cashing, even without ID," said Tweaky, looking over his shoulder for cops. "I lifted this tax refund outta some guy's mailbox last week, and had $300 in my hand in ten minutes. THAT is service, friend."

Another benefit to using Check-N-Go, said the longtime crackhead, are the firm's employees.

"Loretta over at my local Check-N-Go knows me real well, yet she never gives me any shit when I come in with a check that says 'Verna J. Armstrong' or some other impossible name," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Sure, they take 25% off the top, but when a guy needs fast money there's no better place to go."

Tweaky added that the company's employees are usually pretty sympathetic to the plight of drug users.

"Most places throw me out when I start imagining cops in the back room or crazy stuff like that," he said, scratching at bugs under his skin. "But Check-N-Go's not like that; they even pointed a camera away from me once when I started freaking. You don't get that kind of service at Cash-To-You or Check Jones, no sir."

Comments:
I've often wondered, "Who in their right mind would use those check cashing joints?"

Thank for clearing that up for me.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?