.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Pizza Delivery Guy Nails His Ninth Naked Customer

World's luckiest pizza delivery dudeLeft: Lucky driver gets all the horny women

(Topeka, KS) Bambino's Pizza employee Richard Kwiatkowski notched his ninth "delivery bang" Friday night, much to the amazement of his coworkers.

"I don't know what to say - chicks just dig me," said the 44-year-old Kwiatkowski. "I mean, I'm decent looking and got a good package - don't get me wrong - but for one guy to have so many naked women greet him at the door? Must be divine intervention or something."

The longtime deliveryman said that Friday night's close encounter was "a special one."

"This chick, I swear to God - she was built like a supermodel and was dressed in this slinky negligee," he recalled of the customer. "Before I could say anything she threw the pizza box on the couch and went down on me. Right in the hallway. I tell you what - it was something for the record books, mister."

One hot supermodel who seduced a pizza delievry guyLeft: One of the hot women who greeted Kwiatkowski at the door; photo supplied by R. Kwiatkowski

Kwiatkowski said that he has a "special system" for keeping track of the willing pizza purchasers.

"I can't tell you what it is - I'd have to kill you," he chuckled. "Seriously, though - I have a code that I put into the computer, and I make sure that I snag those deliveries."

Fellow Bambino's personnel, however, were less than enthusiatic about Kwiatkowski's "deep dish conquests."

"That lazy fuck is gonna wind up in the unemployment line if he gives me any more of those 45-minute trips to Nowheresville," grumbled assistant manager Mark Ferguson. "And I don't know what he's doing on these "trysts," as he calls them, but if I see any weird sticky shit on the pizza bags I'm gonna kick his pasty white ass across the parking lot."

Give me a break. How could a dude that ugly score with chicks like that?
Maybe he really DOES score that much! Lucky guy!
I used to deliver pizzas and never saw a naked person at the door. I am skeptical.
And, most of the ones who come to the door naked, you didn't really want to see naked.

Why, I remember once, when I was delivering....

Well, it (she) was really UGLY.

The memory of that sight still sends shivers up and down my spine.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?