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10/15/2006

Pizza Delivery Guy Nails His Ninth Naked Customer

World's luckiest pizza delivery dudeLeft: Lucky driver gets all the horny women

(Topeka, KS) Bambino's Pizza employee Richard Kwiatkowski notched his ninth "delivery bang" Friday night, much to the amazement of his coworkers.

"I don't know what to say - chicks just dig me," said the 44-year-old Kwiatkowski. "I mean, I'm decent looking and got a good package - don't get me wrong - but for one guy to have so many naked women greet him at the door? Must be divine intervention or something."

The longtime deliveryman said that Friday night's close encounter was "a special one."

"This chick, I swear to God - she was built like a supermodel and was dressed in this slinky negligee," he recalled of the customer. "Before I could say anything she threw the pizza box on the couch and went down on me. Right in the hallway. I tell you what - it was something for the record books, mister."

One hot supermodel who seduced a pizza delievry guyLeft: One of the hot women who greeted Kwiatkowski at the door; photo supplied by R. Kwiatkowski

Kwiatkowski said that he has a "special system" for keeping track of the willing pizza purchasers.

"I can't tell you what it is - I'd have to kill you," he chuckled. "Seriously, though - I have a code that I put into the computer, and I make sure that I snag those deliveries."

Fellow Bambino's personnel, however, were less than enthusiatic about Kwiatkowski's "deep dish conquests."

"That lazy fuck is gonna wind up in the unemployment line if he gives me any more of those 45-minute trips to Nowheresville," grumbled assistant manager Mark Ferguson. "And I don't know what he's doing on these "trysts," as he calls them, but if I see any weird sticky shit on the pizza bags I'm gonna kick his pasty white ass across the parking lot."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 5:57 PM
Comments:
Give me a break. How could a dude that ugly score with chicks like that?
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:36 PM
 
Maybe he really DOES score that much! Lucky guy!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:58 PM
 
I used to deliver pizzas and never saw a naked person at the door. I am skeptical.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7:40 PM
 
And, most of the ones who come to the door naked, you didn't really want to see naked.

Why, I remember once, when I was delivering....

Well, it (she) was really UGLY.

The memory of that sight still sends shivers up and down my spine.
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 5:20 AM
 
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