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12/17/2006

Your Neighbor "Disgusted" by Your Underwear Skid Marks

Peeping Tom Guest editorial by Paul Flaherty, your neighbor

As a full-time neighborhood voyeur, I see almost everything that goes on in this part of town.

I gotta tell you though, dude - the skid marks on your underwear are grossing me out, and you need to do something about them.

Now, I understand that we all have accidents, like when you think you're going to rip a nice, juicy fart and get surprised with a watery rectal blast. It happens to the best of us.

But I think every pair of underwear you own has a brown stripe down the back.


Do you even use toilet paper, dude?

The other day I was watching your wife put on her nylons, slowly rolling them up her leg. Just as I was starting to stroke myself, in you walked with a pair of rancid-looking skivvies that was more brown than white. I swear I could smell them from my perch in the tree behind your garage.

Instant flaccidity, you know what I mean?

And - I'm not trying to threaten you or anything - but if this relationship is going to work, something's gotta give. It's up to you to take the first step, because there's plenty of other houses I could be watching.

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 4:36 PM
Comments:
Yeah - how's a peeping Tom supposed to get his rocks off with stuff like this?
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7:00 PM
 
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