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1/16/2007

Bush Keeps Having This Crazy Dream of Drinking Coffee with Libby Dole in Their Long Underwear

(Washington, DC) President Bush, facing fierce opposition to his decision to send more U.S. troops to Iraq, confided to reporters that the stress is affecting his dream state.

Specifically, the President has recurrent dreams of sipping cappucino with Sentaor Elizabeth Dole, while they both are dressed in long underwear.

"It sounds crazy, I know, but I've been having this dream every night for the last two years," he admitted. "I have no idea what it means, but I gotta admit Libby looks pretty hot in those skivvies."

Republicans see the dream as a metaphor of Bush putting a wide-angle lens on the nation’s problems, taking the focus away from Iraq. Democrats view the dream as a sign that there is tremendous pressure put on this administration to change direction.

Bush, though, said he's "pretty sure" the dream has nothing to do with politics.

"It's kind of sexual, except we never really get to the sex part," he acknowledged. "But we never talk policy or anything like that. In fact, we never really talk, either. She just looks one way with those still-perky tits of hers, and I stand there trying to think of something witty to say, unable to make anything happen. Then I wake up."

Nothing like real life

The President said that he is "disappointed" that he has been unable to understand the dream, or to dream of something else.

"I am frustrated with the progress," he said. "A year ago, I felt pretty good about the situation. I felt like I was achieving my objective, which was to have a dream that could govern, sustain, defend, and end itself. No question, 2006 was a lousy year for my dreams."

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