.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Scientists Isolate "Molesterol," Pedophelia-Causing Chemical

Molesterol moleculeLeft: Molesterol molecule

(Columbus, OH) Researchers at the Ohio State University today announced the discovery of a sterol they have named "molesterol," believed to play a crucial role in the formation of sexual feelings for children among adults susceptible to the chemical.

"Molesterol is present in higher concentrations in tissues which either produce more or have more densely-packed membranes, such as the testes and the penis," said Dr. Sticcam Harter, a university biochemist. "And we believe there is a connection between high molesterol levels and watching Hillary Duff and Taylor Swift music videos."

OSU chemists discussing optimal methods of pedophile treatment

Harter said that researchers hope to develop a chemical treatment for pedophiles.

"Two chemicals stand out as likely prospects," he said. "We lean toward arsenic and curare as chemical treatments that offer a pharmaceutical beatdown on these sick fucks. As far as curing them, nah; it's a hell of a lot more rewarding just killing the damned pedophiles."


Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?