.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

1/22/2007

Supermom Michael Devlin on Raising Children, Baking Cookies

Michael Devlin, Michael J. Devlin(St. Louis) Kidnapping suspect Michael Devlin, accused of snatching children Shawn Hornbeck and Ben Ownby in St Louis, Missouri, described himself as "just another middle class mom" in an interview with National Nitwit.

"Since having the kids I think I am way less selfish now, and have had a crash course on what really matters," he said, crossing his legs. "Things I used to think were important - like making money, or hiding from the cops - seem so trivial to me now. One of the most important things I've learned about being a mom is that what works for me may not work at all for you."

Devlin said that his stint raising the children of other people has "really helped" him discover his inner creative self.

"I paint, I sing, knit and crochet, sew doilies, doodle, cook, chalk, and make up all sorts of goofy things to do with the kids. Oh yeah, plus all that buggery - gotta love that," he said, scratching his elbow. "I have no reservations whatsoever towards dancing and singing to whatever's on the radio, and I especially like slipping on some fishnets and just going totally nuts, you know?"

Michael Devlin, Michael J. DevlinJust a misunderstood mommy

Devlin said that modern mothers face difficult challenges meeting the unrealistic expectations of American society.

"I've always tried to be the perfect mother, though I must admit that sometimes I spoiled my boys," he said, wiping away a tear. "I spent the major part of my off-duty time with them. We always found time to do fun things together: we walked, did the shopping, and even took baths together. I just hope that some day Shawn and Ben will realize how much I sacrificed for them."

Labels: , ,


Comments:
That's a sweet story, showing the tender mercies of this SICK FUCK!!!!!!!
 
WRONG WRONG WRONG
 
This is why the Internet sucks - sick bastards like you print such trash. You should be ashamed of yourselves!!!
 
Un-freaking unbelievable, you sick, sick shit.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?