.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

4/27/2007

The Feng Shui of Cho Seung-Hui

Guest editorial by Yorohichi O'Reilly, feng shui master

Don’t think of Feng Shui only applying to Oriental gardens. The principles are universal and apply whether you have an English shrub garden, a peaceful Italian renaissance-style garden, or a stifling university classroom.

As we dance into Spring, it is time to clear out the old energies of the past to create a fresh space for the sprouting new seeds of our intentions. The start of Spring presents an opportunity to turn our attention to the new growth, new potentials, and rich punks who must die, and clear out the energetic remnants lingering from the past.

Cho Seung-Hui knew feng shui, and he was making a clean start in Spring.

In traditional Feng shui, we know that each of the eight directions is associated with parts of the body, a family member, or a classmate who must die. In a given element there is more symbolism than we can explore in a lifetime of sorrows.

Just as there was bad chi flowing around Cho Seung-Hui's environment, there was good chi flowing around his body, his “Life-Force”. It is important to balance the energy flow around you, because the flow of bad chi in your environment also affects the flow of good chi in your body.

Cho Seung Hui was a man on the verge of a breakthrough. If only he knew that a piece of furniture was blocking the flow of positive chi, he could changed the angles or moved it out of the way.

Don't be like Cho Seung-Hui. Master your feng shui. Now, a Cho Seung-Hui feng shui haiku for you:

Chi Seung-Hui, bad chi
Used guns for balancing life
Should have moved bunk beds.

Labels: ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 7:59 PM
Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?