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4/30/2007

Man's Boom-Laptop Grating on Roommate's Ears

54 gigs and 120 decibels of mobile media

(Dearborn, MI) Moving in with friend Kevin Fletcher made financial sense, said Dearborn resident Patrick Wlodarczyk, but the auto mechanic did not know about certain "technological innovations" Fletcher had developed.

"Dude has totally pimped out his laptop, complete with a Yamaha MX-1000U 2-channel power amplifier," said Wlodarczyk, shaking his head. "His shit is louder than a hungry baby with a shish-kebob skewer in his eye."

Wlodarczyk said that his roommate carries his "boom-laptop" everywhere he goes.

"Dumbass even takes the thing in the shower with him," he said. "So when he's spanking off to porn, those 10-second free clips he plays over and over makes it sound like the bitch is moaning through a bullhorn."

The music that Fletcher plays is the "least of my problems," added Wlodarczyk.

"You ever hear that Microsoft log-on theme through 1000 amps of audio thunder?" he asked. "That shit would peel the skin off a treeful of apples before they even got picked."

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