.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Gay Truck Resentful of McCain Sticker

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

The Dembrowsky Ford: Queerer Than a Theater Major at Berkeley

(Wichita, KS)—A 1962 Ford pickup owned by Rick Dembrowsky of Wichita, Kansas, recently came out of the closet and expressed its frustration over his owner’s newly added ‘John McCain for President’ bumper sticker.

“Do you know how many engines I’ve gone through? Three. And exhaust manifolds? Seven. But in four long decades, I’ve never had a single sticker on my rear window or bumper,” the truck opined. “Nights I sat curbside beneath the stars, wishing I had a rainbow pride emblem, or maybe just one of those little glittery ovals that said ‘princess.’ And now that fucker Rick puts—
of all things—a McCain sticker on my ass? I’ve got half a mind to stall out while he’s merging on the interstate and let a semi smash us both into smithereens.”

The truck explained its vehement opposition to this seemingly minute gesture of political endorsement.

“Lord, where do I begin with all that’s wrong about McCain,” the Ford huffed. “From his hundred-year stance on the Iraq war to his half-hearted healthcare reforms, he’s far too conservative for an old queen like me. Unless, of course, he had one of them young Dodge Dakotas. I’m sure a night in the garage with one of those hunks could convince me just about anything. Mercy, I’m a randy one!”

Labels: ,

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?