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4/17/2007

Students Torn Between Perpetual Tortures for Killer Cho Seung-Hui

(Blacksburg, VA) Students at Virginia Tech, grief-stricken after the murderous rampage by Cho Seung-Hui that left 33 people dead, cannot reach a consensus on an appropriate eternal punishment for the killer.

"I am a fan of sadistic demons perpetually stabbing his eyes with really sharp metal spikes, causing the blood to blur his vision, but not so much that he can't see the next spike coming," said Victoria Killian, a sophomore education major. "That, or forever beating him with a wooden board with rusty nails that rip his flesh each time they strike."

Senior mechanical engineering student Kevin Jacobs, who knew one of the victims, advised a different approach.

"I think that a red-hot aluminum baseball bat should be rectally inserted into the abdomen of Cho Seung-Hui," he said. "Then every time it cools down, he gets reamed with another red-hot bat. Do you think that's too much?"

Even local clergy weighed in on the type of fitting punishment for Cho Seung-Hui.

"After he reaches Hell, I want Satan himself to rip off Cho Seung-Hui's genitals and stuff them in his mouth," said Reverend Harold Grieger, a Methodist minister counseling Tech students. "Then I want Cho Seung-Hui to eat his own junk, have a new set of man-parts grow back, and repeat the castration process for all eternity, world without end, Amen."

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Comments:
Look, if you don't have the balls to actually be funny/witty/satirical, then just over look this shooting and make fun of something else. People do still want to laugh, afterall.
 
Bite me. Hard.
 
Now we're getting somewhere.

Tell ma about your mother Bob.

I sink zat we have had a breakthrough.
 
lame....

RIP Seung-Hui Cho
 
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